Sink or Swim

Monday, January 08, 2007

Hard to find the words

To say that the past few days have been overwhelming is, of course, a gross understatement. Wednesday was a blur, accented by a bad cold on my part. Getting the call went pretty much as I expected, and yet it was still such a unique experience. After years of waiting, to suddenly be a family of three because of a phone call is unreal to say the least. One of the biggest surprises is that so many adoptive parent concepts that I scorned have turned out to be true. The first surprise is that the pain of waiting has all but evaporated. I will never forget how hard it was to wait to see her face, but the mental and emotional weight of that pain is gone. People said it would happen, and it made me crazy when they said it. But it turned out to be thankfully true. The second surprise is the depth of feeling that was inspired by her picture. I know it is a complete cliche', but she is just ours. We felt immediately that she was our child. I'm not saying we wouldn't have had those same feelings if she had been a different child, a different photo, but the fact is that we felt like we knew her right away. And I do love her already. It's not the same type of intense, bonded mother-child love that I hope to build over time. But it is a love. And more of an intense love than I expected. A final surprise has been how positive my online sharing experience has been. I have heard horror stories about blog stalkers and crazy internet posters, and I almost didn't put her name and photo on the blog. But other referral photos have meant so much to me during the wait, I couldn't bear to hold back. And the response has been so gratifying. All of your lovely comments and support are appreciated more than you could ever know. Right now, I just feel so loved. I am not a gushy, sweety-pie gal generally, but this experience is bringing out that side of me. My family and friends have showered us with glowing accounts of her beauty, endless offers to babysit, and best wishes for our trip. Let's see if this feeling can be sustained while waiting for our travel approval...


Blogger Kristi said...

From another adoptive parent waiting to travel, well said!

1/09/2007 10:28:00 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Add me to the babysitter list! I can't wait to love her up.... BTW I had great fun shopping for that precious girl today! We are praying for Yuan daily over here in EP! What a blessing she already is! -Di

1/09/2007 10:51:00 PM  
Blogger C said...

I know just what you mean, on every one of these!

1/10/2007 04:23:00 PM  
Blogger SunnyIce said...

I believe, I do believe. I just want to finally know all those feelings that you have right now! Patience is not my finest virtue, but I am always thankful to have you and others ahead of me sharing your wonderful experiences, pictures and wisdom. It keeps me going.

1/11/2007 01:08:00 PM  

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