Sink or Swim

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

A very full week

I am exhausted after six days of out of town visitors. E was baptized on Sunday, and it was the first time many in the family met her. I've been both anticipating and dreading this, since I knew it would be hectic, schedule-free and disorganized. It is good to know I can still be pleasantly surprised. Not only did E completely charm everyone, but she mostly stayed on her eating and sleeping schedule. I'm not always 100% excited about it, but E really turns on the personality in groups (like when I've visited my office). It's almost like she's performing -- mostly I think she just adores the attention. With our families, she just seemed thrilled to have so many people playing with her. She didn't reach out for people, or want to be held by them much, but she reveled in having her little cousins act silly to make her laugh (they were quite successful in general), and in her aunts and uncles exclaiming over her every sound and move. The look on her face when she would clap, and then 20 people would exclaim and clap in return was completely priceless. She's ruined for hanging out with the likes of us. We don't worship her nearly enough! The baptism was really emotional for me. First, I am excited to have her grow up in our church, since I think it embraces the best parts of Christianity/Catholicism. I've written about it before, but I'm so impressed with how St. Joan's cuts through all the crap that can bog religious worship down, and challenges people to really look at what it means to be a Christian. OK, I won't digress since that's a whole 'nother post... Anyway, the ceremony of the baptism just choked me up completely. We were standing there with several other families, and the priest starts by asking each one "what name do you give this child...?" And I was swept away with feelings. From there, I could barely hold it together, and I wasn't completely sure why. It just brought all these feelings to the surface -- all the wanting and waiting and hoping, and all the wonderful support we received from the family and friends standing behind us. Sufficed to say, it was a more momentous day than I expected. I got to spend time with my dearest friend Kim, which is rare anymore. My sister and her husband reminded me of how great my family can be when we're choosing to be so. My mother is still wearing her new grandmother status like a flashing beacon, and it doesn't annoy me yet. Yet. And R's family was wonderful and generous and appropriately in awe of the amazing E. Bliss, just bliss. And we've had a few major eating breakthroughs just today, which is very exciting. E accepted a few bites of her Mickey Mouse pancake at breakfast (I ordered it for her knowing I would be the one eating it, don't judge). OK, it was pretty doused in maple syrup, but still, she has never accepted anything remotely resembling solid food that requires chewing before. Later today, she had a few small pieces of Trader Joe's cheesy corn puffs too. In case you are thinking that we never give her anything remotely nutritious, I'll also add that we rewarded her with her first few bites of ice cream! We'll do better tomorrow, I promise. But hey, she's chewing a little, and I could just do a little dance of joy, so clam up on the food judgements, ok? Of course, more food leads to more other things too, right? I've been telling people that "hey, changing diapers isn't so bad" for a few weeks now, not realizing that we were dealing with diapers from a body that wasn't eating much beyond formula. Now that she is eating all SORTS of things, I am, along with E's diapers, full of crap! Yow that girl can poop! But changing diapers still isn't as horrible as I'd worried. Life is mostly good, and E is beyond delightful. I still have my moments where I snap at her and then feel the most intense guilt and shame. And when she is playing nicely with her Baba, I sometimes hide in the bedroom and surf online much more than I should. All is not perfect, and I can see that toddlerhood is going to test me but good. But we're coming up on two months since we've met her, and she already owns such a huge part of my heart and soul. How does it happen so quickly? And how do I get her to stop changing from a baby into a toddler quite so fast? Must be time for a glass of wine.


Blogger nikki said...

Sounds like things are going very well! (It is never perfect, nor should it be.)

Just keep enjoying all the wonderful moments you all share as a DOES go by quickly, but each new phase has a lot to be thankful for. (even toddlerhood, believe it or not.)

As far as the food goes: I totally feel ya on that one. I was always just happy to get Lily to eat judgement here!
Your E. is beautiful and I have enjoyed reading your story very much.

4/19/2007 07:04:00 PM  
Blogger Mama said...

I gave Gabby marshmellows for breakfast - more than one time. She loves them, and cries when they are gone. Me too.


4/19/2007 09:18:00 PM  

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