Worrying about things we can't control

After all, that's what people do, right? The two things I'm currently obsessing about are: 1. What if we are referred a boy? This is a thought that hadn't crossed my mind until a month or so ago when I started seeing mentions of it on several blogs/boards. It does happen. Not often, but it does happen. Obviously, we would love our son just as much as we would love our daughter, but it would definitely be a mental and emotional adjustment. All of our dreams, discussions, plans and names have assumed we will have a girl. That's a lot of dreaming, discussion, planning and naming to re-focus. Besides, let's just admit the real issue, I have done extensive wardrobe accumulation assuming a girl. So, our son would spend his first few months in drag, and who needs those therapy issues... 2. What if we are referred an older child? Now older is a relative thing here. We're not talking about a 14-year-old who can already babysit herself. But China considers 0-24 months to be the age range for an "infant." If our referral is for a 22-month old (@2 years old when we would finally meet her in China), that would also be an adjustment. Not the end of the world, of course, but an adjustment nonetheless. As I said in the title, these are things we can't control, but we do think about them. There is some negative chatter on some boards about how parents adopting from China shouldn't be upset if they are referred a boy when they requested/anticipated a girl. Somehow, the implication is that if you are adopting, you should just be happy that you will have a child at all. Period. It distresses me. We are still human. Wanting a girl doesn't make us bad people or bad parents. We would love a son just as deeply as we would love a daughter. It would just take us some time to adjust mentally and emotionally. Besides, it has taken us a year to agree on a girl's name, and I can't imagine starting over!

How does this blogging thing work anyway...?

I have officially entered the 21st century. I am a Blogger. Why, you ask? I don't blame you for wondering. Over the past few months, I have become a blog-stalker. Most of the blogs I stalk involve parents who have recently adopted, or they are in the process of adopting. I have learned so much from these blogs, but most of all, I have seen how wonderful it is to be able to share photos and thoughts during the two-weeks in China when you meet your child. I am hoping that we will be able to do similar sharing during our trip. Thus, the blog. This is essentially my "trying to figure it out" post, so not much to share. We also have a website for our daughter that is designed more as a memento/keepsake for our daughter (email me if you'd like the link). It will not remain in place very long after we return from China. I'm hoping this site will. The photo is from our recent trip to Europe. I will try to do an entire post about the trip. Like most things, I am starting out with good intentions. We'll see where it goes. Anyway -- welcome!

Am I a Blogger?

I'm very hesitant about this whole blogging business. I love to write, but having others visit your life on a regular basis creates some pressures I'm not sure I'm ready for at the moment. I primarily created the blogger identity to be able to post comments on others' blogs, but we'll see if I end up getting hooked...